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Sad and Sailboat-less

July 29, 2018 0 comments

Allí Oop is sold.

(Cue sad, dramatic music as I begin to wail uncontrollably). Omg! What did we do?!? Wahhhhhhh!

I get so emotional, baby…

It’s just so sad. I still get misty eyed when I think about it.  I’ve cried numerous times. I mean, really cried. Is this normal?

Clearly, I wasn’t quite ready to let her go. You see, it’s not just the physical boat that I miss. It’s the experience we had and the lifestyle itself. Everything has changed in the blink of an eye and we are back to being landlubbers.

Ugh, it really is depressing sometimes.

I mean, I knew we were going to sell her, but I didn’t think it would happen so fast.  I figured we’d have the summer to explore some local anchorages and maybe go down to St. Augustine for a weekend. Once school started, I’d anticipated that I’d be working for a few months and get good and sick of being in such cramped quarters. I’d start tripping over books and bags and the place would be an absolute wreck.  When I was finally at my wits end, then the time would come.  Then we would get an offer and happily move on.  Life never works out the way we plan, though… does it?

A champion no more

I always thought there would be this finite moment when I would be absolutely done with living on a boat, but there never was.  Yes, there were plenty of moments of frustration on a regular basis, but at the end of the day none of it really mattered.  We had everything we needed, just in a smaller size and usually tucked away in some nook that took ages to uncover. But, somehow I was happy to adjust my life to fit on this little boat. I felt like I was making an impact by living simply and using less. Now I just feel like a crappy, wasteful human again.

I always felt some kind of satisfaction in trying to accomplish everything I wanted to in that tiny space.  I’ve baked French macarons in the galley, hand sewn new throw pillows on our settee and washed clothes (in a 5 gallon bucket) in the cockpit. Not ideal for most people, but it made me immensely proud. Everything took 10x longer to complete and I would usually be cursing under my breath while I was doing it, but when I’d finish, it was like I was the champion of the world!

Now that we’re in our new apartment, we just have all of this empty space staring back at us and I’m wondering, “What is all this for?” Where are all of the little cubbies and nooks and hiding spots? Why aren’t there built in shelves here and storage over there? This apartment is a complete  waste of space!

Weird, right?

I don’t get that same feeling of satisfaction when I do those aforementioned things above either. Granted everything is much simpler and faster, which is important I suppose, but since machines are doing most of the work for me – (washing machine, Kitchen Aid mixer, sewing machine) I don’t feel as happy or satisfied. Is it so strange that I enjoy doing everything by hand now?? In all honesty, sometimes I just do the dishes now because I miss the action of washing dishes by hand. I know, I’ve lost my mind.

Sad and Sailboat-less

Me, amidst the moving mess.

The sale

Other than my emotional upheaval, the overall experience selling Alli Oop was very positive.  Things couldn’t have worked out better, to be honest.  Within a month of listing her for sale with David Walters Yachts, we got an offer. Shortly after was the survey, sea trial and settlement. And a blink of a month later, she was under new ownership.  In case you were wondering, that isn’t normal at all.  A sale that quick is unheard of and on average, it usually takes about a year to sell a boat (from what we’ve been told).

I know I should feel more grateful and elated that we sold our boat so quickly.  I mean, the other alternative would be that we couldn’t sell her and we would be going into debt trying to pay rent for our apartment while also still paying off the boat. Not good.  Am I happy that’s not our reality? Yes. Am I happy we sold the boat? No.

Sad and Sailboat-less

Dave, soon-to-be owner, broker and surveyor. That’s what you called organized chaos.

Coping

The past two months have been a whirlwind of finalizing the sale of the boat and moving into a new apartment. After a road trip up north we’re once again in possession of our belongings. We now have lots of stuff again. I have mixed feelings about that too, as you can imagine.

In addition to a new apartment, there is also a new car (which I’m enjoying very much) and a new job, which will start this week.  With all of these happenings going on, I haven’t had much time to think about the boat, which is probably good. I was feeling pretty proud that I hadn’t had any misty eyed moments in a while, but that all went down the toilet the other day.

Dave brought up the boat via text message, and I just suddenly felt so sad.  Later that same night we went out for Mexican and I ended up crying multiple times over dinner as we began recapping our fondest memories from the trip. Of course they were happy memories, which evoke strong emotions.  It’s been two months, and I’m still crying. Can you believe it?

Sad and Sailboat-less

Darby cat seems to be settling in just fine.

The irony

While I’ve been going through this crazy wave of changing emotions, Dave has been emotionally consistent. A rock. Focused on work, being productive and charging full steam ahead in this new life without missing a beat.  And to think, he was the one who started this whole sailing thing. At this stage, you’d think I was the culprit and that it had been my lifelong dream to cruise the Caribbean and live aboard a boat.

Sometimes I almost feel frustrated and angry that he hasn’t been feeling more like I have. How is this fair?!

The Rudder Club

While we work to fill our bank accounts again and continue to adjust to life on land, we  have one saving grace. A sailing club in Jacksonville,  The Rudder Club.

Located on the St. John’s River and only 20 minutes south from where we live, it’ll be our new weekend getaway. They have Hobie Cats and small sailboats to rent for $10 a day. With a membership we can enjoy the perks of their swimming pool, outdoor grilling space, kitchen and bar. Sounds pretty good to me.

Living on the water over the past year and a half has changed me inexplicably. The experiences we’ve had, the friendships we’ve forged and the way we lived all revolved around the sea. Although we aren’t connected to the water like we were, we still have easy access to it, which is absolutely something to be thankful for.

It will be a while before we can think about owning another boat again. Joining a sailing club will definitely help satisfy the need to be on the water and scratch the sailing itch.  As long as we can be involved with boating in some capacity I know I’ll feel much better. Maybe we’ll get a kayak in the meantime. 🙂

Sad and Sailboat-less

Boat ramp at The Rudder Club

Sad and Sailboat-less

My new chariot!

Sad and Sailboat-less

Visiting my hometown. The sights in Western PA never disappoint.

Sad and Sailboat-less

Thank goodness for help from our families. We couldn’t have done it without them!

Sad and Sailboat-less

Marina life. Oh how I miss it!

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